On March 10th, at 7:30 a.m., I got a text message from a family friend saying that my grandmother had passed away that morning. I've endured people losing friends and family to many things, but when it happens to an immediate family member for the second time, it hurts and is kind of relieving--because my grandfather died three years ago in the summer, and my grandmother is with him now. This is how I'd like to see it.
I was physically present when my grandfather died, watching him unable to do anything but blink as my mother held his hand as she spoke her final wishes for him. Both of them were undeniably wonderful people. They were the reason I have my Bachelor's and Master's degrees. I think they were earned inheritances from both of them---they were both educators--my grandfather was a principal as well while my grandmother was a teacher though I can't recall if it was English or History that she taught--she may have been a guidance counselor as well. They both instilled the importance of education in their grandkids--my sister and I---by sending us boxes of textbooks, Highlights for Children magazines, and making sure that we read a lot.
Getting this out is my gratitude for both of them.
My grandmother was the one who taught me to cook simple stuff for the first time. Steamed rice and spaghetti were the two things she taught me to make when I was 18 years old. It was just those two things, but it was enough to get me started developing a new hobby and another lifeline.
She watched lots of things on TV--even things I never expected her to watch--like a Celtic Woman concert or cooking shows, and Murder, She Wrote.
I could write a book on how wonderful she was to the people she encountered and more.
I miss her. I will miss her and keep her in my heart as always. There was never enough time to talk to her--there's never enough time to spend with those you love until after you meet again in death.
I won't talk about my regrets. There's many of them.
I have my memories.
That's why I've been taking a break from posting and book promo on BlueSky for a little bit. I'm processing her death in the best way I know how.
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 continues to play a huge part in that recovery and acceptance of death as concept for me. I just finished Act 1 last night and a particularly notable death hit me harder than I thought it would--because it was unexpected and I was still reeling from my grandmother's passing.
Youtube videos, songs, books, and video games come into my life for reasons--more than "I want to play this game,". Sometimes they introduce you to things you've never felt before or will feel at some point later down the road.
Never underestimate the power of art, no matter what form in comes in. These are gifts, warnings, messages. As Stephen King has said of books: "They are a uniquely portable magic,". "Reading is refined thinking." He has also said that writing is a form of telepathy. I've always believed this. And I absolutely adore him for these words as a writer and a person now in my life.
When my break ends, the world will move on as it always does. I need to step away and create more. I will never forget what my grandparents have done for me, and who they were as people in my heart.
Keep your loved ones close, even you have to be physically distant. Not because life is short, but because you care.
💙💚💛💜💖
I write short fiction under the pen names Seraphine Vale and Rin Nocturne.
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https://www.hoopladigital.com/artist/seraphine-vale/25182369285
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📚 Read Rin Nocturne’s books:
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✨ Featured Title:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FCD1JFFR
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